I found the most amazing thing while going through some junk stuff oh-so-important papers that needed to be filed!
Before getting married (ten years, one month and eight days ago), Big Daddy and I went through some pre-marital counseling with our pastor – complete with the requisite homework of course. While digging through those oh-so-important papers, I found one of those assignments, in which I had to write a paper (more or less – can you believe it?) about God’s design for marriage and submission and authority and what-not.
Tomorrow I’m going to post the essay — or at least part of it, I may stretch it into parts if it proves to long and cumbersome — which it probably will since I often write like I talk.
Today I want to show you the diagram and summary that I provided with the essay. Oh yes – I am that thorough. Long winded AND thorough. Great combination.
God’s Plan For Marriage
The husband is responsible for keeping the wife safe and under God, (the directive concerning the forbidden fruit was given to Adam only, Adam was given authority over the animals and Eve, too – therefore it was Adam’s responsibility to see that Eve did not eat the fruit.) Using love, honor, and nourishment combined with praying together, reading the bible together, and attending church together (1 Peter 3:7; Ephesians 5:23-29,) he places their relationship in God’s hands, and by doing so, he can protect her from Satan and his attacks (depression, anger, sin, loneliness, etc.). The wife, in response to the loving care she receives, and in acknowledgment of the husband’s position, should willingly place herself in submission under his authority – if for no other reason than that it is easier for the husband to place her in the shade of “God’s umbrella” if she is not constantly struggling against him. By respecting him and the weight of his responsibility, by loving him, and by placing herself in submission, she helps the husband hold their relationship under the “umbrella” so that they may receive God’s love, protection, mercy, strength, peace, etc. (Ephesians 5:23-29; 1 Peter 3:1-7; Titus 2:1-5; Genesis 2:15-25.)
If the husband fulfills he wife’s needs, she should be willing to place herself in submissions. Submission combined with love and respect fulfills the husband’s needs as well as making it easier for the husband to make decisions that move the family closer to God and down the right paths. Submission does not mean, “subjection to tyranny,” or “mindless acquiescence,” but the “yielding of humble and intelligent obedience” with the understanding that it is the husband’s responsibility to move the family forward in an orderly and Christlike manner.
It’s important to note (as I think I point out in the essay) that sin screws that up in all kinds of ways. But God’s plan and our sinful mucky attempts to follow his plan are two different things. Sometimes we get close, sometimes we miss all together. It’s important that we strive for that goal.
I’m sure that there are probably some things in here that true “learned scholars” would find fault with – Hey! I was 19! And I KNOW there is plenty here for other people to find fault with – Submission is a hot button for a lot of people.
But you know what? I fully believe what I said in there. Still do. “Submission does not mean, ‘subjection to tyranny,’ or ‘mindless acquiescence,’ but the ‘yielding of humble and intelligent obedience’ with the understanding that it is the husband’s responsibility to move the family forward in an orderly and Christlike manner.”
Even after ten years, one month, and eight days.