It’s the special Valentine’s Day edition of Works For Me Wednesday! Shannon has issued a bloggy request to “Share with us the best relationship advice you can give. Or, share with us some ideas for making Valentine’s Day special for your sweetie or your kids. ”
I guess my best marital advice for any V-Day celebrators would be *drum roll* communicate, compromise and…(blushing) *ahem* consummate. What–we’re all adults here aren’t we? And we all know what The Man needs…no, wants, no… needs and wants.
The point is, we probably have different ideas of how Valentine’s Day is gonna go down, and it would be a good thing to start on the same page. So ladies, we must be honest with our men and let them know what we expect, and we mustn’t set those expectations as high as Hollywood itself. While it is true that some men may hire a limo, take you to the finest restaurant in town, hire a violinist to serenade you, and scatter the bedroom with rose petals and lit candles… other men may find it difficult to piece together a romantic evening without assistance. If your husband is romantically challenged, it wouldn’t be fair to expect him to surprise you with the **STAR** treatment out of the blue (it’s common knowlege that men can’t read our minds, right?)
Don’t take me wrong, I’m not saying “If you’re husband’s not romantic, then don’t expect anything,” what I am saying is this: “Acknowledge your husband’s abilities and have fair expectations.” Great expectations that aren’t met can easily ruin an evening. In other words, the “I’m-not-saying-anything-he-has-to-figure-it-out” approach might land you at a boxing match or a tractor pull so just go ahead and tell him “Hey, I’d like to go to the movies for Valentine’s Day” – it would save you both some heartache.
Also, reciprocate! Take the time to find out how your hubby would like to spend Valentine’s Day (i.e., don’t drag him to the ballet if he doesn’t want to go) and thoughtfully make, create, or find a gift that he will enjoy and that will show how much you love him (and I’m pretty sure we can all agree that ties are not on that list.)
And I probably don’t need to say this, but don’t shoot for an evening that isn’t in the budget. A date that puts you in the red isn’t going to do either of you any good. Don’t be tempted to “Keep up with the Jones’.” So stick with your budget.
Just remember the three C’s – Communicate, Compromise, and Consummate (because isn’t a date so much better if you have something to look forward to at the end of the evening?) 😉
Now if you’ll allow me to make an attempt at being funny (’cause I never really know if I’m succeeding or not), I give you… “Valentines Day 101”:
7 Things Every Man Needs to Know About Valentines Day:
1.) EVERY woman wants to be loved, cherished and treated like a queen on Valentine’s Day. We just all have our different preferences. (Cherish: “To hold dear; to feel or show affection for” — It’s in the vows.)
2.) It’s up to you know or find out what we prefer! Yes, it’s perfectly appropriate to ask… before Valentine’s Day! (I know, I know, asking questions is kind of like asking directions, but it’s worth it.)
3.) Most women will be happy with chocolate and flowers, but would be happier with something you put more thought into… like a nice planned date and a small gift by their favorite band or author or for their favorite hobby. (Or ask her for her Amazon wishlist.. she probably has one.)
4.) It’s perfectly acceptable to give a gift of a massage or day at the spa, a day without the kids for womanly pampering — but that does not get you out of the requisite couple time, a.k.a. the date. That’s a given. (Key phrase, “WITHOUT the kids.”)
5.) Once again, no it is not acceptable to give appliances or power tools unless specifically requested!! (Although, perhaps that new set of pots and pans would be nice?)
6.) Yes, we will usually be fine with a Valentine’s date on the weekend before or after if circumstances call for it. There’s just something special about celebrating on that day. (Like it has the words “Valentine” and “Day” in it. And that’s special. But a date on a different day is better than not date at all.)
7.) Be romantic! Ok, for real… it’s not about how much money you spend on the evening or the gifts.. it’s the amount of your heart that you put into it. ‘All money and no heart’ ain’t got nothin’ on ‘no money but all heart’. (For real. So arrange a free sitter for the kids, cook dinner here at home, and watch a cheesy movie on Lifetime. Don’t let $$ stand in the way of love!)
***Ok, ladies, don’t forget to be reciprocal! Our husbands need to feel loved, too. Every day. And like I said, it ain’t all about money! ***
HAVE A HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY TOGETHER!
Ephesians 5:22-33 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.