Archive for Personal Walk
One of Those Days
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I should have known today was going to be one of those days when I didn’t want to get out of bed, over-reacting to something, when tears welled up in my eyes before my feet ever hit the floor.
I should have known today was going to be one of those days when my day started off with wet carpet and a wet throw pillow from my new bedding set, when the weather outside was gray and rainy and promised nothing more for the day, when the mood inside didn’t look much better than the one outside.
I should have known today was going to be one of thoes days when a hot shower and brazilian hazelnut coffee and 5 chapters in Exodus didn’t lift my mood. Neither did the cinnamon toast crunch nor the watching of The Wizard of Oz with the kids.
I shouldn’t have been surprised when the day kept going the same way, when the children kept bickering, when I kept wanting to hide in a hole until the day was over and come out after the coast was clear. But I guess I’m not all that bright - because I keep asking “where did that come from??” So yeah - I guess I’m a little slow.
Obviously… I am not slow enough. Not slow enough to anger. Not slow enough to speak. Not slow enough to pause and reflect and react in the spirit rather than the flesh.
Being the mature one stinks - can I throw a fit for what I want, too?? No. Being the mature one is the right thing to do. Of course. I have to be the parent. I have to be mature. I have listen to the Spirit and seek the Word and lean on God.
I should have known. So why do I forget, why do I give in so easily? Perhaps because I had such high hopes for the day. And I tend to react childishly when things don’t go my way.
My house isn’t any cleaner (it might actually be worse.)
My errands haven’t been run.
My mood isn’t any better.
On the other hand, school is done, without too much difficulty, in a reasonable amount of time. And for a few minutes, the kids are playing together and getting along. Can’t win every battle, right? Sometimes it might be wisest to call a truce. Which translated means:
Order a pizza, make hot chocolate and listen to Christmas music (while trying to get them to dance clean and hoping for the best.)
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The Body, The Whole Body and Nothing But The Body
I have heard many a great sermon preached from 1 Corinthians 12:
21The eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” 22On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, 24which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, 25that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. 26If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.
And while I have always agreed and understood the application, “Oh, sure, one little paper cut can cause misery to the whole body…” it’s hard to TRULY appreciate how important one of the smaller, “lesser” body parts is until it’s compromised. I’m not just saying this. I KNOW this. I know this well.
Take your toe, for example. People can live with nine toes, it’s true. But a tenth toe, IN PAIN, causes the whole body to suffer. At the end of July, I broke my big toe. (Watch those cast iron skillets, people, they don’t play well with big toes.) I hobbled around all day, convinced I could tough it out and make due. I didn’t really think it was broken. But after the pain and swelling didn’t go down for a few days, I suspected trouble. By the end of that week (VBS week,) it was hard to walk. My feet and legs hurt from holding my foot and leg differently to avoid putting weight on my big toe. At the end of the week I borrowed crutches so I could get around without using my foot at all. I used them correctly, for several hours on the last day of VBS, in my out of shape and not so healthy condition, and the next day… I COULDN’T MOVE. Every single muscle in my body hurt. A lot.
Funny how one little toe had caused so much trouble.
Finally after 3 months, I can walk without pain, I can bend my toe, I can stand on my tippy toes, I can walk without a limp! It has taken a long time, and it came with some setbecks. In the first two weeks I could not stand for very long at one time, and I had to sit for a long time in between before I felt like standing again. I gained 10 pounds in that two weeks because of my decreased activity, adding to the existing 50 pounds I NEED to lose. But I wasn’t able to exercise and wasn’t going to be for a while. I was very depressed about that for a couple of weeks - I now weigh more than I have ever weighed in my whole life, ever. And naturally, having a broken toe interfered with chores and cleaning house. I am still recovering from that. I told my husband that even after I felt good enough to get up and get some cleaning done, it was hard work. I had gotten lazy and I had no stamina. It was very difficult to get up and work on housework without wanting to sit down and rest after about 15 or 20 minutes. I admitted that at that point it was a struggle against laziness more than anything else, but it was…IS… still a struggle. Naturally, it also interfered with dressing, bathing, grocery shopping, intimacy, driving, cooking, and other daily tasks.
One little toe.
Of course, the lesson here is that in your church family, the church body functions like your phycial body. And that when you’re truly functioning like a church body every member is a part of that body. When one member of the body hurts, the whole body hurts with it. When one member of the body rejoices, the whole body rejoices.
This can extend beyond your local church body as well. It’s not uncommon to find the ability to connect with other members of the body of Christ–in news stories, online blogs and articles, in print via magazines and newsletters, and even visiting missionaries, etc– and be able to hurt and celebrate with them as they relay all that God is doing in their life.
Yes, we are all human, and far from perfect. So like our own bodies, sometimes the church body is flawed. Sometimes we fail. But there is also Grace and Forgiveness, just as there is healing for our physical ailments. Still, we have this picture, this example of how the body of Christ should be. A living, breathing, loving body, that hurts together through the trials and rejoices together over the praises, a body that comes together and lifts up the body member in need and carries it through in prayer and love. We have that to strive for and live out, and it takes every member.
This is one of the things that I’m currently looking for in a church. It’s at the top of my list. A functioning and loving body of Christ. Probably not perfect, but a church that can really become my family, a place to serve and grow. I really feel hopeful and positive about the church I’ve been going to. I say “going to” loosely though, as I’ve been more staying than going. I’d only attended two or three times before I broke my toe. I’ve only been back once since then. I went back about a month ago, after I felt like I could stand up on my feet long enough to navigate attending church with three kids by myself. And since then, we’ve had a variety of setbacks in going.
I really NEED to go next Sunday. I’m a toe, in need of a body. You know what happens when a toe gets cut off from a body? It’s not pretty. I need a body. I’m praying for no more setbacks. I’m praying for overcoming any hurdles that arise to prevent us from going. I’m praying for no illnesses, no sleep issues in the middle of the night before, no nothing. I. Need. To. Go.
I’m also hoping and praying that this will be the church that God uses to draw my husband back into church with me, the church that James will find appealing and acceptable. Kind of like the body with nine toes, I know I can survive if that never happens, because God will always be there, and He’ll always get me through it. But like the body with a tenth toe in pain, life would be more complete, functional, and dare-I-say less painful, if that tenth toe was happy and healthy and fully a part of the body. The toe would be happier too, don’cha know. It works both ways.
When all the members of the body are healthy and working together and functioning appropriately, the whole body is happy and healthy. And that is true of so many things, in so many ways.
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I Visited a New Church Today
This morning the kids and I loaded up into the car and headed south. There are plenty of churches to visit in our little town,.. still,… we only live a few miles from the next town over and we have some friends who attend a church there.
Immediately we felt very welcome, and it’s an added bonus that my friend has children who are the same age as mine (and then some.) My children had a friend to feel comfortable with right off the bat.
Sunday school was good - there’s a class for young parents with young children which my friend’s husband leads. The discussion was good - and there was coffee. 
I was happy to learn they’re beginning a new book for the summer and that I came on the first day - I don’t like coming in late on things.
And today’s lesson?? Fellowship. What is it, when does it happen, why is it important. (Umm,…HELLOOO??) I’m just sayin. Or in this case, not sayin cuz it should be obvious without me sayin. So.
The service was good, too, though I’m used to (and prefer) a praise and worship type service, I grew up Southern Baptist so I’m not unfamiliar with it - and it’s good to hear some of the old hymns from my childhood sometimes.
At least the preacher opened the bible, read some scripture (they’re working their way through the book of Acts) and preached a sermon off of the text we read. I’m not a fan of the “I’m preaching on this (possibly perfectly fine) topic and I may or may not read a scripture to support it” approach. (See, I know there are terms for these different kinds of preaching, I just don’t know them.) At any rate, I believe the one I like is called expository, and while the preacher may have admitted he’d digressed from his sermon notes to hang out on one topic he felt important to discuss further, it was still inspired because of the text and it was still in agreement with scripture and that’s what I’m looking for.
The sermon? Ananias and Sapphira. The point? They had one foot in the church and one foot in the world - they were not “All In” for God. And God is not calling us to halfway. He’s calling us to be all in, to serve, to live, to go, to do, to bear fruit, to worship him WHOLE-heartedly.
I don’t think the pastor knew it, but what he was saying was a follow up of what we’d been talking about in Sunday school, about how important it is to be a part of a fellowship of believers, and about how true fellowship stems from true fellowship with God on an individual basis. You can fake one but you can’t fake the other.
And it all gave me hope because these are the things I am looking for. I don’t HAVE to have a certain music style, or a certain order of worship, or a certain way of doing things. Just like now knowing what you have until it’s gone,.. you learn what’s really important in a church when you don’t have it.
I need teaching that comes straight out of God’s word.
I need fellowship with like-minded believers.
I don’t know if this church will become our church home or if we’ll keep looking and end up somewhere else. But I know that I enjoyed visiting today, and that I’d like to go back next week.
It’s a good start.
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Lost in Transition
Last night I dreamed I was attending a church service and I didn’t like it. At all. There were some people there I liked, but the service consisted mainly of several performances - that lacked anything whatsoever to with God, worship, praise, the bible, or even a personal testimony of experience with God. I was so bothered I tried to leave, but it seemed that we kept dropping things or forgetting things and I was having the hardest time getting out of there with the three kids.
I finally made it outside and ran into somebody I knew (not from the church, just standing outside) who asked if I didn’t like it. “No, I did not.” I replied. “Where are you going now?” they asked.
“I don’t know. I don’t have a church to go to.”
Sounds like a bad dream, doesn’t it?
The church I’ve been going to (a couple times a month since December) isn’t as bad as the one in the dream, but I’m not happy there for other reasons. It’s not the right church for me. The one I went to twice before that one, I liked even less. Now I have the task of finding a different church to try.
It’s not that there aren’t any other options. Maybe it’s that there are too many options. We have at least a dozen churches, maybe two, here in our small town. We just need to start trying them out. In the meantime, without a church to call home, without a steady diet of good teaching to feast on each week, I feel a little lost.
Lost in transition.
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Progress: Quick Thinking
It’s true that practice makes perfect, and that applies to more things than handwriting, cooking and hobbies. It applies to right thinking, too.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Philippians 4:8
It’s not easy, at first, to change your habits in thinking. The angry retorts, the selfish tendencies… they slip in so easily. We are so well rehearsed in those things, they come up immediately.
But we CAN change them. We can change our first thoughts. At first we have to practice intentional thinking, perhaps after our first or second or even third thought.
But as I said, practice makes perfect (or at least practice brings improvement) and eventually you will find yourself responding in thought with love instead of anger, selfLESSness instead of selfishess, giving instead of greed.
I can assure you that it’s possible. I surprised even myself a few days ago when my husband consulted me on a matter and before answering I thought to myself, “now what is the RIGHT thing to do here…?” It’s an isolated incident; it’s far from “perfection.”
But it’s progress.
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See the Little Things
Heart urchins, clam steinkurns, snail steinkurns, round sea urchins -- click for larger.
Yesterday found me standing in the rain, collecting garbage from a wayward bag that had gotten lost on the way up the hill to the dumpster and then had the courtesy to spill its trash all over the side of the hill.
Hubs was off on a Sunday afternoon computer call, Little Prince was napping and the girls were given instructions to “be nice” while Momma was outside getting wet and dirty. And then I was off on a trek up the hill in the light rain with nothing but me and my trashbag and my thoughts.
Collecting the trash wasn’t easy - the wind was strong and it kept blowing my trashbag shut or sideways. I asked myself several times why I didn’t think to bring any gloves along with me. And I realized I was wearing my super cute shoes and hoping I didn’t get them muddy. I didn’t, but still it would have been very easy for me to be very cross by the time the chore was over.
Instead, I realized that outside - wind and rain and all - was very quiet. And when you’ve got three kids, silence really is golden.
If you’ve got several children, you know what I’m talking about.
After lugging the bag of trash the rest of the way up the hill I threw it up into the dumpster and turned to leave. But then I stopped and looked over my shoulder.
The day before, Drama Queen had done a science fair project on fossils, most of which had been collected from the area around our landlord’s stock pond a few hundred feet away. My 6 year old is CRAZY into fossils and has been for years. She’s often bringing rocks and fossils to me with eyes wide round open and a grin across her face, “Momma, look at THIS cool rock I found!!” I’m constantly telling her to leave other people’s rocks alone - otherwise our neighborhood churches, restaurants and friend’s houses wouldn’t have any rocks left - they’d be at our house instead.
I confess that I usually nod and say, “yes, yes, now go play some more.” Usually I do look at the rock, but not very closely. I couldn’t say that I really paid any attention to it. I can say that I didn’t REALLY see it the way my daughter did.
Image collected from the internet - Shows snails (C&D), Round & Heart Sea Urchins (I&J) and Clams (H.) Click for Larger.
But that was before.
- Before learning more about different kinds of fossils with Drama Queen.
- Before finding a list and some pictures of the many different kinds of fossils that our part of Texas is loaded with.
- Before going through our collection (aka bucket) of fossils on top of the bookcase.
- Before finding some really cool fossils in there that I didn’t even know we had.
I confess that “before” I stopped to pay attention, I wouldn’t have been able to tell a difference in some of the tiny little fossils and plain boring rocks.
But that was before. And this was now. Looking back in the direction of home, I turned toward the stock pond and walked about ten feet past the dumpster where the rocky terrain began. I didn’t have to go far. I didn’t have to look long.
I stooped there for about five minutes, scanning the surface of the ground with my eyes and skimming the surface of the limestone debris with my fingers. Picking up small rocks and turning others over I worked quickly - assessing and discarding, assessing and keeping. My hands flew over the small patch of ground as I collected over a dozen small fossils, including two tiny sea urchins - something we didn’t have yet.
In five minutes. Just off the top of the ground. TEN FEET FROM THE DUMPSTER.
They’d been there all along. Undisturbed. Waiting to be discovered.
I had just never looked that closely before.
I felt so very blessed on the walk back down the hill. And this time I was the one, running up to my girls, eyes wide open round saying “Look what I found!” And I can’t help but wonder what other lessons there are for me in this. How many other details, tiny wonders of God’s creation, little blessings in my day, do I not see because I’m not looking?
These round sea urchins looks like round rocks but are covered in bumpy "spines."
About the size of a blueberry.
Amazing little finds.
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Does God Want My First or My Best?
You find the word “firstfruits” in the bible a lot, God wanting our first and our best. We’re taught in church to tithe first, off the top, instead of giving to God out of our leftovers. We’re taught to seek Him first at the beginning of the day instead of “penciling” God in somewhere later when we don’t have anything better to do. Yes, we’re also taught to seek him continually throughout the day, and to give more than just the tithe, but there’s a lot of talk about FIRST.
First, first, first.
On the other hand, we also know that God was displeased with Cain because even though he did bring an offering, it either wasn’t his best or his heart wasn’t in the right place. And we know that God instructed His people to choose the BEST lambs as sacrifices.
So God wants the first, best part of us, our day, our time, our everything.
But what if my first isn’t my best?
Now I’m not going to argue tithing to God first or making him first in my heart. What I struggle with is giving God the “first and best” part of my day. The first part of my day IS NOT the best part of my day. In fact the morning if often my worst and the last part of my day is definitely my best.
I was at my best at meeting with God daily, praying most fervently, studying His word diligently (and learning the most from it) during high school and college when I had my quiet time at the end of the day before I went to bed. You know, before marriage and kids. Getting married changed the pre-bedtime routine as you can imagine. I played around with my routine trying to find a good fit. Prompted by marriage and parenthood and encouraged by friends from church, I have tried to have a morning quiet time. I just can’t stick to it.
For years I have struggled with making my quiet time a regular habit. I keep up with it a while, I fall out of it a while. And to be honest with you, most of the time I don’t really feel like I’m getting anything out of the reading, like I need a crash course in how to study the bible because all I’m doing is reading a passage and then going on about the rest of my business. But that can’t be true because there are other times that I read God’s word and He reveals truths to me and teaches my heart and I walk away feeling FULL. I just never feel that way in the mornings.
I have tried so many things and I’ve gotten to the point of wondering, and then back, and then returned again: Do I REALLY have to do this in the morning? Am I just beating myself up over not achieving something that MAN has decided is the way things should be? Or am I just trying to justify my lack of self-discipline by claiming the morning routine is just a form of legalism and instead I should just be praying harder that God would make me a morning person?
So do I? Have to have a quiet time in the morning? Because honestly I don’t feel like my quiet times can possibly be all that pleasing to God as they stand right now - either non-existent or non-intimate. And honestly I feel like I have the best time with God when I am cleaning my kitchen in the evening and listening to worship music or a sermon online. I know that those can’t be all I do alone, that I need to read and memorize God’s word, too, but I try (or plan to) do that in the mornings and well, we see how well THAT is going. I just always feel like there’s this “pressure” to fit into this mold I don’t fit into.
Do you have any testimonies in this area, encouraging scriptures or sermons you’ve heard or books you’ve read on this topic? Inquiring minds and late night owls everywhere (or at least in this house) want to know.
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Looking Back on 2008
Looking back can be profitable if you take what you see and learn from it and grow from it. No “dwelling” allowed.
I’m just gonna say this up front: 2008 S.T.U.N.K. like a dead skunk most of the time - but I say that still with a smile on my face and hope in God. I know that every circumstance, good and bad, grows me and strengthens me.
2008 got off to a bad start with Big Daddy coming down with pneumonia and bronchitis - both - at the same time. He missed TWO WEEKS of work, and we’re self-employed! Fortunately (and I say that not in reference to “luck” but in reference to fortunes direct from GOD)…fortunately, my church family came alongside us and held a food drive. Our pantry was blessed to the brim! And it was a good thing, because even when Big Daddy got better his workload didn’t. We made so little money for January and February, the WIC office workers’ eyes got huge and their jaws dropped open. No joke.
And God provided. We didn’t end up on the streets or starve to death.
You might think that once we caught up on our bills and recovered from the bumpy start we’d be fine, right??
Nope.
Big Daddy busted his booty just to make enough to pay the bills - all. year. long. We’ve juggled and struggled and yet, God provided just enough. We didn’t end up on the streets or starve to death.
We have two older cars, which have the benefit of no car payments, and the downside of frequent car repairs. We bought my 98 Lumina in the summer of ‘06 for 1,000 dollars and it has worked GREAT until this year. And starting January ‘08, my car has been not working at least 50% of the time. We’ve hit that point where things need to be replaced and we’d have to wait several weeks to get the money to fix it. Big Daddy and I would have to share his even older vehicle - and obviously he would need it more because he’s the money maker. It’s hard sharing the one car, (which we’re actually doing at the moment and have been doing since Halloween) but guess what? Yup. We survived. I’ve always been afraid Big Daddy’s car would break at the same time my car was broke - but it hasn’t happened yet. God has provided. And even if it did happen, I know God would provide in that instance, too.
We’ve had to do without a lot of things - things we think we need at the time, some things that are needs but needs you can do without for a bit, things that we want. I’ve had to learn to budget better, and make the most of our money. I’ve had to learn to be responsible and trust-worthy. I’ve had to learn to accept help graciously (and not let my pride get in the way.) I’ve had to learn to rely on God - COMPLETELY.
So how can I learn from this and grow in 2009??
The last few months have been a refreshing change from the majority of this past year. For the first time in a long time, we have enough room to take a breath. I can stop juggling and finagling. We can take care of a few of those needs we’ve put off.
I hope I’ve learned enough to keep doing these things even though finances aren’t as tight right now:
- Budget and stick to it!
- Not change my spending habits just because there’s more money in the bank.
- Make wise purchases and make the most of our money.
- Be responsible and trust-worthy.
- Accept help graciously.
- Help others when I see a need.
- Rely on God - COMPLETELY - for everything.
After surviving this last year, I know that God provides - I’ve seen it, felt it and lived it first hand. I know that we will not end up on the streets or starve to death. And I know that when we trust him and rely on him, there is a peace and growth that comes with it.
Praise God, from whom ALL blessings flow.
Goodbye, 2008. Hello, 2009!
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A Lesson In Humility
Christmas is about, among other things, humility. Christ humbled himself to come to earth in the form of man. His birth very humbly took place in a lonely stable with only his parents and the animals for company. And Christ came for the purpose of humbling himself to the point of death to pay the price needed to atone for our sins.
Humility. The lesson I got this Christmas was one big, fat, scalding, loving lesson in humility. Because God in His amazing goodness is good at big, fat, scalding loving lessons, ya know?
Let me first set the scene. There are three days until Christmas and I haven’t done any Christmas shopping. I set out in a funky mood (bad idea), with a two year old in tow (oh no), who needs a nap (even worse) and a somewhat vague shopping list (I think you can see where this is going.) But what is clear to you now was not evident to me at the time so I spent the next four hours at Wal-Mart happily plunking gifts into my basket until we were done and Little Prince had had all he could take and was ready to go home. But that happy feeling was sent packing when the cashier told me my grand total was almost twice the reasonable budget Big Daddy had given me. (Deep inhale!)
Boggled and flustered with a tired two year old climbing up my shoulder and over my back, I made the (debatable) decision to write the check and return things the next day to go ahead and get out of everyone’s way and go home.
Right.
Sounded good at the time.
Few things are more humbling than having to tell your husband you overspent and wrote a check the size of Godzilla. It is further humbling to have to admit to God and yourself that you are in the wrong and to have to follow through on making it right. To that end, the next day I took 13 items, totalling half of the bill, back to Wal-Mart. Actually, it wasn’t that hard to tell the cashier at the service desk that I needed to return them because I spent too much. It paled in comparison to the conversation with Big Daddy, believe you me!!
After leaving Wal-Mart, the weight of Mount Rushmore was lifted off my back but you know, writing Godzilla-sized checks doesn’t serve well to prove trustworthiness. That battlefield stills looms ahead. But the guilt of being unsubmissive and not a good steward et al was washed away with repentance and restitution like only the precious blood of Jesus can do.
But the lesson doesn’t stop there. Oh no. Of course not. Because God doesn’t do things half way. Unlike me, God follows through every single time, oh yes He does.
After I was brought lower than low, low, low and humbled with my face stuffed down into the fibers of carpet, and after God lifted me up in sweet forgiveness, I was hugely and amazingly blessed with an opportunity to serve.
Few things are more humbling than serving those in need. Few things are more fulfilling.
With my pre-Christmas blunders still fresh in my mind, we had a last minute opportunity to have a family over for Christmas Dinner and provide them with a hot, home-cooked meal, good fellowship, and the love of Christ through service and friendship. I couldn’t help but feel humbled by the fact that days before I was having trouble sticking to my budget and thinking about myself (and my family) instead of thinking about anybody else. But true to form, serving others not only blesses the others but also brings joy and blessing to you as well. Having them over was without a doubt, the most fulfilling and Christ-exalting thing I’ve ever done on Christmas Day.
Makes me wish we could plan that sort of thing every year. As if you could plan last-minute opportunities to serve. But if you could, would you? Okay, I wouldn’t plan the over-spending part. I think I’ve learned my lesson. I hope, I pray. The only thing lacking on Christmas Day was that Little Prince lost my camera a few days before (it’s around here somewhere) and I don’t have any pictures. But as cheesy as this sounds, I think I’ll remember Christmas 2007 forever, with or without pictures to look back on.
Philippians 2
Christ’s Example of Humility
1So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, 2 complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. 3Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, 6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. 8And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. 9 Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, 10so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
{Originally published December 28, 2007; Republished December 24, 2008}
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Guarding Your Countenance
Countenance isn’t a word we use much in everyday conversation, and I’m not sure why. It’s a great word. It says, “the way a person looked like they were feeling” all in three little syllables.
I’ve been thinking about MY countenance lately. I know that I am a positive, usually cheery, very friendly person. I also know that most of the time, I don’t LOOK like it.
I squint a lot, sometimes even when I have my glasses on. Squinting automatically gives the impression of being disagreeable. It was worse before I got my glasses again. Imagine me, singing on the worship team, squinting at the monitor trying to read the words — and looking grumpy while singing praises to God!
I frown while I think or ponder things - even if I’m not thinking about something unhappy. I might be trying to think of a good gift to give my husband but you’d never know it by looking at me. I often realize in the middle of listening to a pastor that I’m frowning at the pastor! I immediately try to switch to something that appears like interested listening, but I’m sure most of the time I look like I’m disagreeing with what the pastor is saying!
When daydreaming, I stare off into space - often in the direction of some other person without realizing it. It’s a little unsettling because I’ll suddenly realize I’m staring at somebody (probably with a frown on my face!) and then try to cover it with a big smile so they don’t think I was glaring at THEM. Oy.
And then there are times that I just flat out am not really thinking of anything or feeling particularly anything and for some reason just don’t have a very happy look on my face. I often caught myself, while nursing or rocking one of my children, staring at their little face, not really thinking anything, and then realizing that I probably looked unhappy while staring at my child - not the picture I want to present. It’s a good thing that very young infants haven’t learned to interpret facial expressions yet. 
I don’t think there are any direct biblical passages talking about keeping a pleasant face. But I do know that there are other passages that speak of our character and our witness. And I’ve come to the conclusion through these experiences that I’m not giving a good impression of my character and witness if I have a sad or grumpy countenance.
If you think I’m grasping at straws suggesting some kind of biblical support for pleasantness, consider the practical applications as well. More times than I can recall, my countenance caused some kind of issue with my spouse. My frown was misinterpreted and my husband felt like I disagreed with him when I really didn’t.
Imagine how many confrontations you could avoid by keeping a pleasant face. Imagine being remembered by your children, spouse, and other people you met as someone “with a kind face.”
When I think of Jesus, I imagine him with a kind face. We know there were a few times he got angry at sin, and I’m sure there were a few times he felt sad, but I’d like to think that most of the time he had a kind countenance. He was after all, sinless, and there would have been no cause for grumpy, unhappy or disagreeable looks.
I realize that most of the time I make grumpy faces unintentionally, but no one else knows that. It gives the impression of things that aren’t there, and that’s the part I don’t like. I don’t want to give the IMPRESSION of sinful attitudes - especially if they’re not really there!
So how can I work on keeping a kind countenance? It’s something I think about frequently, and whenever I think about it I give myself a countenance check. I think it also takes practice, like keeping good posture. So I practice keeping a pleasant countenance while listening to my children tell something, while teaching them, while talking with my husband…. I haven’t mastered this yet, but I’m betting that’s the big one right there: Practice, practice, practice. I’m hoping that with enough practice, over time, it becomes a habit.
Amber
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Time Management
Most days I get this feeling; a feeling that I’m not making the most of my time.
Lunch time gets here before I know it and I have barely accomplished anything in my day. I’m convinced that if I could make use of that time to get things done then I’d be able to get enough done in my day, yet I’m not convinced or motivated or something enough to actually make that a permanent change.
Some days I’ll wake up on time and make breakfast on time and really get a good start on my day. But it seems like I can’t cross over from “some days” to “daily habit” or even “most days.”
It’s holding me back.
I know it. I see it. I’ve GOT to manage my time wisely! Even though I’ve scaled back to a tiny little salad plate and what will fit on there, I still feel like my plate is full and only half-eaten at the end of the day.
There is SO MUCH else I want to do! (And I’m not talking about writing novels or knitting scarves - I’m talking about bathing my children and ironing my husband’s clothes.)
6 Go to the ant, O sluggard;
consider her ways, and be wise.
7 Without having any chief,
officer, or ruler,
8she prepares her bread in summer
and gathers her food in harvest.
9 How long will you lie there, O sluggard?
When will you arise from your sleep?
10 A little sleep, a little slumber,
a little folding of the hands to rest,
11 and poverty will come upon you like a robber,
and want like an armed man.
That pretty much says it all, don’t you think?
Photo Credit
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I haven’t had a lot to say lately…
I’ve been reading A Woman After God’s Own Heart®
In other words, if you don’t spend time in the word, reading, praying, internalizing, studying, memorizing - then you won’t be able to speak the word to others.
Well, I haven’t been.
So I guess I haven’t had a lot to say.
For several weeks, I’ve lost any attempt at all to get up on time and read and pray. I had been still listening to something edifying in the evenings while cleaning the kitchen (sermons on podcast or praise & worship music.) But I haven’t done that in about a week.
I’ve struggled with a lack of motivation, which is only compounded by not having a quiet time. If I don’t put God and his will in the forefront of my mind by studying or at least praying at the beginning of the day - then I’m not going to spend my day seeking him and his will as I go about my business.
And really: it is so unmotivating to clean the same laundry and the same dishes day after day outside of the context of God, his will and serving my family.
If I’m not doing it as a service of love to my family and as a witness of Jesus in me - then life can seem kind of redundant and repetitive!
I mean, how many clothes does one family NEED anyway?
But if I keep my focus:
- THIS is my ministry right now.
- THIS is how I can show the love of Christ to my husband and children.
- THIS is no small task in God’s eyes.
…then my day seems a whole lot less pointless and a whole lot more pointed in the right direction.
And I need that. We all need that.
I keep trying to get all this done and then I get tired. I gotta remember I have a partner in my corner, just waiting for me to ‘tap him in’ and let him fight for me so that I don’t get so worn out.
Amber
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Burning the Midnight Oil, Part 2
Recently, I mentioned one late night where I stayed up cleaning after my family had gone to bed. Inspired by that success, I was prompted to continue that habit - only not so late and before my hubby went to bed.
I have to say that I’ve developed a habit of cleaning in the kitchen (mainly, but sometimes the living room and bathroom) in the evenings after my children are in bed, after a short time of unwinding and surfing the internet and while listening to a sermon on podcast or some worship music (or sometimes a missed tv episode) via our Mac on the kitchen counter.
And? I like it. It works.
It’s quiet, it’s peaceful (the Mac doesn’t count - what matters is that the KIDS are QUIET,) and I’m at my most productive. Most nights I stick to this and I can definitely tell a difference in my work load and ability to keep up with it the next day. When I miss a night or two, I can REALLY tell how much worse it is!
Each evening I’ll run the dishwasher, wash hand dishes that have collected, wipe down the sink, counters and stove, sweep etc. Sometimes I may mop or clean out the refrigerator, or some other larger, less frequent project. Each morning, I’m able to get started on breakfast without any hindrances.
Sure, you could wash a hand dish immediately as soon as it’s dirty, wipe the counters down frequently throughout the day, mop during naptime - and not have to spend an hour at the end of the day. With small children and homeschooling, that isn’t really practical for me right now. Not only that, I’ve coming to enjoy that time spent at the end of the day. Just me and God, a quiet house, and (when I’m done) a clean kitchen.
I don’t like the cleaning part - but I sure do like standing back and viewing the results when I’m done. A clean space makes me smile.
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God’s Plan For Marriage, Part 4
Continuing my “series” on marriage, I finish with the last part of the essay I wrote before my husband and I married, ten years ago…
Redemption for the Marriage As Well As the Soul
After Jesus’ ministry on Earth, many examples became evident for a new way of life. Christ had demonstrated his love for the church and explained how the church was to respond to God and then he compared it to marriage. God inspired many men to explain these to us so that we might know how to have a marriage more like the marriage between the church and God.
Christ called the church his bride, and loved her so much that he sacrificed himself to save her. The husband also is called to love his wife and it may at times be necessary to sacrifice his own needs or desires to fulfill the needs of his wife. For example, this could be as simple as turning off his favorite tv show and comforting his wife because she is upset. This may also mean going to a concert or a play that he really doesn’t care about but that the wife really wants to see. The husband may not ever be called to sacrifice his life for his wife, but it is important that the wife feels loved, secure, comforted, and happy and occasionally a small sacrifice may need to be made to provide that for her. (Ephesians 5:25, Ephesians 5:28-29)
Christ also called the husbands to be the head of the wife as he is the head of the church. Christ is the authority that the church places themselves under. He is a “servant leader” where servanthood defines this leadership rather than working against it. (Woman’s Study Bible, p.5) The husband is to be a leader for the wife to follow, at the same time, serving her to meet her needs so they can move forward together in an orderly, Christ-like manner. (Ephesians 5:23-29)
The wife is called to be submissive to her husband as the church is subject to the Lord. This could mean that the wife is responsible to her husband as well as the Lord, since it’s his job to move the family closer to God. If the wife is pulling the family away from God, she may be responsible to the husband for her actions. This doe not alter the fact that she is also responsible to the Lord for her actions, or the fact that the husband is responsible to the Lord for both of their actions. (Genesis 3)
Okay, so the funniest line of this part: “so they can move forward together in an orderly, Christ-like manner.” Yeah, I crack myself up.
I really think this was a rough draft, and that I finished this on the computer. I don’t know if there was more to this or not - this is where the hand-written version ends. If I was writing this now, I’d not only edit a few things, I’d add some more too, it, too. Perhaps that is ten years marriage talking.
Next time, the 30 year old me finishes where the 19 year old me left off.
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God’s Plan For Marriage, Part 3
Image Source: Google Images
Picking up where I left off from last time, let’s see what I wrote about marriage after Eve handed Adam that fruit…
After the Fall
Although the first marriage system was what God had originally intended, He altered the system after Adam and Eve ate of the fruit. God told Eve that her husband would rule over her (Genesis 3:16.) Ruling is much different than leading, and that change in thinking resulted in a big change of lifestyle. Instead of portraying the wife as equal to her husband, it portrays her as inferior to her husband. Also, this new position makes it less likely that a husband and wife would work together towards a common goal, but rather that the husband will make all the decisions and the wife will carry them out. This puts more space between them and they don’t support each other mentally and emotionally anymore. The relationship still works, but it isn’t as close as God originally planned.
»» God’s Plan For Marriage, Part 3
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