One day! Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and I’m nailing down the last details for our family celebration – what about you? I’m taking a quick break from my to do list to wrap up my mini-series — arguing my response to four common arguments I hear for doing Santa, and why they aren’t selling points for me. We’ve already talked about how “it’s fun,” how “Santa is based on Saint Nicholas” and how “it’s tradition!” When all else fails, the last argument that people resort to is this:

Argument #4:”But the kids are missing out…”

I think this is really the one that bugs most Santa-doers, though. They feel like I would feel if you told me that you never celebrated your kids’ birthdays, at all, no card, no song, no cake, no gift, no nothing. I would feel like your kids were missing out on a piece of childhood. And I believe that’s what is at the heart of most arguments for Santa.

But what are my kids missing out on REALLY? (Besides being lied to and having to sit on a strange man’s lap?) Nothing that really matters in the long run, and not much of anything that matters in the short run either.

Are they missing out on presents? No. Stockings? No. Cookies, traditions, movies? No, no, no. FUN? Definitely not! We have all of those things. And more. This year we not only decorated our own tree but my mom’s, the trees at the church, our neighbor/landlord’s tree and we offered to do my mother-in-law’s tree as well. We’ve made cookies, hot chocolate mix, gifts, paper ornaments and tomorrow we’re making cider. We’ve watched movies, read books, done crafts and we’ve done our Advent candle readings and sang hymns after. We did several service-oriented things as well. On Christmas Eve we’ll be opening all of our family gifts (because out of state family is leaving on Christmas Day,) and we’ll spend the whole day with our family, eating, fellowshiping, playing games and having fun. Christmas morning we’ll have stockings, open our 3 gifts (that symbolize the gold, frankincense and myrrh,) attend a church service and spend the last of the time with our family before they get back on the road. We have had a full month and we have a full weekend ahead.

“Ah,” you may argue, “but what about your KIDS? YOU may not think anything is missing but what about your kids?”

Well let me tell you…I asked them. It is true that if we have a scenario where a Santa is involved and other kids are getting presents, they don’t want to stand out as the only ones not doing it, and they like getting presents early. They actually told me that it wasn’t that they didn’t get to do Santa that bothered them, but they didn’t want to stick out.

I GET THAT. I do. Which is why I try really hard not to put them in that kind of situation. On the other hand, what they’re feeling and they’re just too young to know it, is how to go against the flow, be your own person and do your own thing. All kids their age don’t want to be the weird one. But here at my home, they’re not alone. Even out in public, I’m standing with them. But here at home that isn’t a factor at all. Do they miss not having Santa in our celebrations? No. They don’t. Do they like the way we do Christmas? Yes, they do. Do they like watching Santa movies? Yes they do. Do they like doing our 3 wisemen gifts instead of Santa presents? Also yes.

OUR truth is… we are happy without Santa. And we don’t need/want it. That’s hard for some to understand, it’s not the truth for everyone, but it’s the truth for us.

And so there you have it. Four realistic, sensible rebuttles to four common arguments for Santa. I bet at least one person thought I was going to go all radical Jesus fanatic on them. It’s undeniable that my faith plays a large role in how we do celebrate.. and that I don’t see Santa as furthering that purpose. But it’s not only that. But it IS a large part of it, yes.

Come Christmas morning, I want there to be only one star of the show. And no, it won’t be perfect. But there will be at least one quiet reflective moment. It won’t make us perfect, or holier, or more spiritual, or anything. But it will bring us together in thanks and prayer, it will make memories. Then there will be lots of normal holiday noise and kids running around. Because it’s our house, and it’s often loud and the kids run around.

I hope that whatever your traditions are, that you are able to spend time with family and friends and that you have very blessed day with them. Thank you so much for your positive feedback. Until sometime after Christmas when I get back around to my blog again… God bless!!

Image Source: Wikimedia Commons - click for source.

Halfway through my little mini-series here and I’m hoping that I’m not pushing all of my friends away. I don’t want to come across as though I think everyone else should do things the way I do them. As I said in the beginning, my only goal here is writing down why I choose what I choose. As I mentioned, though most of the response I get when I tell people that we “Fired Santa” is positive, there are some people who look at me like I just grew a second head. The thought that my kids won’t get to have Santa baffles them. And they give many reasons why we *should* do Santa. None of these reasons resonate with me, however, and they pale in comparison (to me) to the reasons we’ve chosen *not* to do Santa. You can read my response to the first argument of “But it’s FUN!” and the second argument “Because Santa is based on Saint Nicholas.” Now I’m going to address the third argument I hear…

Reason #3: “It’s tradition! It’s the way *I* grew up doing it and I turned out just fine.”

Yes. I’m sure that you *did* turn out just fine. I grew up doing it and I like to think that *I* did. ; ) But wouldn’t you agree that just because our parents did something, we don’t necessarily have to do it that way? I mean, think about all the things you grew up saying you were going to do differently. Maybe you still did some of them the same. But I’m willing to bet there are some ways that you parent differently.. and you know what? That’s okay. It really is. We don’t *have* to do things the way our parents and their parents did them. Sometimes change is good (sometimes it’s bad) we just have to weigh out each scenario.

But here’s the other thing, the more important thing: Santa Clause is really a very recent tradition when you think about it. Yes, Saint Nicholas lived a very LONG time ago. And honoring Saint Nicholas has been around a very LONG time. But Santa Claus as we know him today began taking shape around the beginning of the 1800′s and by 1930 he was the Santa we all recognize and celebrate. He’s barely been around a hundred years. And in the grand scheme of things, that’s really not very long.

Often when we say “it’s always been done that way” what we really mean is that it’s been done that way “as long as I can remember” or “for several generations.” But it’s not “always.” We tend to over generalize things. Don’t you agree? Seeing as how Santa is really a very recent tradition, and seeing as how Saint Nicholas is a much older one, it seems to me that it should be a very simple matter of letting people take it or leave it and choose Saint Nicholas over Santa if they want to, without much argument.

Speaking of Christmas traditions that have changed… there have been many traditions in Christmas’ past, many of which we no longer do today. We no longer put real candles on trees, or decorate trees with food, or celebrate Christmas with a  city-wide drunken carnival (as it was celebrated during the Middle Ages.) Times change. Traditions change.

Now we’ve got some new additions to Christmas lore. Much of what we “know” about Christmas is a direct result of one thing: television. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer first appeared in 1939, he was created for a Montgomery Ward’s advertisement (yes, advertisement – surprised?) His fame was cemented by the classic movie that came out in the 60′s. Frosty the Snowman became famous first with the song (in the 50′s) and then with his own movie in the 60′s. Since then there have been many more Christmas songs and movies which have added to the story, the lore, the tradition. Traditions continue to change.

My point here is that it’s okay to change traditions, it’s okay to pick and choose. We do with everything else. And as Christians we SHOULD be in this world but not of it, we SHOULD look a little weird, we SHOULD be choosing our traditions carefully.. if people look at us like we’re weird because we’re not doing the same things, isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be? Now I’m not knocking those Christians who still do Santa.. I’m just standing up to defend the ones who don’t and get labeled as “weird.” Don’t fret. Standing out and looking weird is okay. Okay?

I just wanted to wrap up that even though we don’t “do” Santa here, we still watch movies. We have many favorites. Because for us, we’re not making Santa real… but he’s perfectly welcome as a tv character the same as Rudolph, Frosty, etc. Fiction, for me, needs to stay fiction, and then we’re fine. You might be surprised to learn that one of my favorite Christmas movies is actually Polar Express. It’s such a good movie. But my favorite line of all, you probably won’t be surprised to learn, is at the end where Santa says, “This bell is a wonderful symbol of the spirit ofChristmas - as am I.”

Yes, Santa is a SYMBOL of Christmas (albeit the secular, American Christmas.) And as long as Santa stays a symbol for me then Santa and I are good. But just because the tradition of making Santa Claus real to kids has been around for the past hundred years, it doesn’t mean that’s necessarily how it has to be done. I’d like to choose traditions that are older, better for us, and make some new ones of our own. I know some people think I’m a follower of some kind for choosing not to do it. I must be following SOMETHING or SOMEBODY. Truth is, I’m not. I’m bucking tradition and that’s what makes waves and I get that. But “to each his own” as the saying goes, because truth is.. we all pick and choose tradition to some extent anyway.

Tomorrow I’ll finish off this little mini series and then I’ll be taking a break for the holidays. I hope your holidays are shaping up well. If you have some extra time, here’s some extra reading for you. God bless!

• Of Kids and Christmas (LOVE THIS.)
• Permission to Breathe (Just thought this might be appropriate 3 days before Christmas.) = )

Image From Wikimedia Commons - Click for source

Yesterday I started a short series examining the arguments I frequently hear when I tell someone that we don’t do Santa, beginning with the biggest one, “Because it’s FUN.” Today I’m continuing with the second biggest reason I’m given:

Reason #2: Santa Claus is based on Saint Nicholas.

Ever. So. Loosely.

I’ve written about how Saint Nicholas became Santa Claus before. The short story is that legend of the Turkish priest spread throughout Europe, which was brought to America by the Vikings, and the Dutch and Spanish settlers. Since then, the printing press and the television have given us “Santa Claus” as we know him today, giving him an elfish appearance, reindeer and elf helpers. The only thing that Santa still has in common with Saint Nicholas is giving gifts to kids but even then, there’s a difference. I can’t speak for Saint Nicholas, obviously, but what he stood for and what Santa stands for are so vastly different, I don’t think Saint Nicholas would like to be compared to him at all.

Bear with me a second.  Hear me out.

Santa preaches bribery and then unmerited reward. He says “be good or you’ll get a lump of coal.” But then he brings presents anyway. Kids know this. Kids know they’re going to get a present from Santa whether they’re good or not. In the moment, the empty threat may encourage them to obey but deep down inside they KNOW they’re getting a present. And on Christmas Day they KNOW they weren’t always good, but they got a gift anyway.

Santa often brings extravagant or frivolous toys. Extra things, things we don’t need, things that are over the top or out of our budget but we scrape for it anyway. Santa’s presence, his extravagant gift giving, the practice of writing letters and creating abundant wishlists, these things breed and encourage an attitude of “getting” – greed, gluttony and coveting. It’s hard for kids, and even adults, to separate these things from Christmas when Santa is involved.

By contrast, Saint Nicholas didn’t give empty threats or bribery. Saint Nicholas gave to THOSE IN NEED. He saw needs, he met them. And why? Because Jesus loved the people, so Saint Nicholas loved the people. Saint Nicholas also gave THINGS THEY NEEDED. Need shoes? Here you go. A dowry? Here’s some money for that. Need some food? No problem. And Saint Nicholas gave and gave and gave. He was born monetarily wealthy, and he died monetarily poor, but rich in love. Because Saint Nicholas loved God so much, he gave all he had.

I’m not against getting gifts, or toys, or even some nice things. But I find an attitude of Giving and Thanksgiving have trouble thriving in Santa’s presence. Santa doesn’t preach “give to others.” He bellows, “what do YOU want for Christmas, little boy?” And most definitely we can give and meet needs and serve others without Santa’s help.

One of the things that we’ve changed around here since cutting out Santa is changing what goes in the Christmas stocking – a tradition we chose to keep because those actually DO tie back into the story of Saint Nicholas. Following in Saint Nicholas’ tradition, the stocking is used to give fun but mostly necessary items. A new compact mirror, a hairbrush set, fun ponytail holders, gum, a new belt, character socks, chap stick, a watch, and so on. There’s probably going to be a hot wheel car or a my little pony type small thing in there, too. But most of it will be useful, needed and fun. The kids still enjoy seeing what’s inside their stockings (even though the girls joke they get a new hairbrush in their stocking every Christmas.) (Shh… not this year, they’re not!) =p

Another tradition I’ve been pondering is the whole tradition of making a wishlist. In an effort to keep the kids from going overboard, I’ve always encouraged them to keep their lists short and not too expensive.  As a result they usually receive almost everything on it, and exactly what they wanted. Everybody’s happy, but I’m wondering if it wouldn’t be better if they DIDN’T get everything they asked for, if there were some things they got they didn’t ask for that they liked, if there was more of an element of surprise and less of a certainty that they were going to get what they wanted. I dunno… I’m just thinking out loud and haven’t really come up with any answers on that one yet. I’d be interested to know what you think.

For a long time, the “fact” that Santa Claus was based on Saint Nicholas made me indecisive about cutting Santa out of our tradition. But studying the history and learning more about the truth of how Saint Nicholas became Santa, seeing the notable differences between the two, freed me up to let Santa go without any guilt or ill feelings. I’m not ditching Saint Nicholas, I’m letting go of a tradition that no longer resembles Saint Nicholas at all. It’s the huge crevasse of difference between what Santa Claus and Saint Nicholas stand for that leads me to say that for me, the “Santa is based on Saint Nicholas” argument bears no weight with me at all.

I understand that most people really do think Santa Claus is okay because he’s based on Saint Nicholas, and that they don’t know enough about Saint Nicholas to see the differences. Parents genuinely want to do right by their kids and they want them to have the best Christmas experience they can. This is why I hear this argument so much. I fully acknowledge their right to do Santa if they want to. But for us, it’s not a good enough reason to “do it anyway” and so I choose to abstain.  I’ll write about the next reason in another post, but for now I want to leave you with some good reading to enjoy. God Bless!

• Santa-Jesus (while most people talk about how Santa is not like Jesus, my friend Kristi tackles how JESUS is not like SANTA.)
• Why Jesus is infinitely better than Santa Claus.
• Santa Vs. Jesus (I love her list of things she wants her kids to know about Christmas.)
• Kids, Jesus, and Santa: Do you tell the truth? (I fully agree with his perspective on honesty, I want my kids to know that we’ll always tell the truth!)

Image from Wikimedia Commons; Click for source.

5 DAYS. 5 days to Christmas Day and counting. The closer we get to Christmas Day the more we hear about Santa, Santa, Santa. This will be our 3rd Christmas without any remainder of Santa in our holiday celebration. And we’re still okay with that, by the way. But you know, it’s funny sometimes how people respond when I tell them that I “fired Santa.” I might as well have told them that I hate fuzzy kittens. I mean, really!

Now let me say for the record that I have a lot of friends who still do Santa at least a little bit to some degree, or quite a bit to a large degree, and I don’t love them any less or think any different of them because I love my friends no matter what. And for the people I don’t know, it’s not my business. But for my house, we intentionally choose not to “do” Santa. By not “doing” Santa I mean that we don’t get presents “From Santa,” we don’t leave out milk and cookies, we don’t go see Santa at the mall or take pictures with Santa, we don’t decorate with Santa, and most importantly we don’t act like Santa’s real and tell our kids they have to behave or Santa won’t bring them presents, etc. So when I say we don’t “do” Santa, that’s what I’m talking about.

And you know what? It’s really hard for some people to accept that! I always get the same arguments, too. So today, instead of listing all the reasons why we don’t do Santa, (I’ve blogged some of them before, but I realized that I haven’t really blogged about this as much as I thought) I wanted to take each “But it’s Santa!” argument, one by one and take a look at them — and in doing so, give a little more of my reasoning for Not Doing Santa. I have four main arguments that I frequently hear when the topic of Not Doing Santa comes up. Let’s see how they stand up, shall we?

Reason #1: But it’s FUN.

If this were actually a valid reason for doing anything, it would stand to reason that anything “fun” is okay or worth doing. Is it? Aren’t there plenty of things in life that are fun but not safe or healthy? So is it more worthwhile to teach our children that “it’s okay because it’s fun” or that “not everything fun is worth our time?”

One of the ways that kids get swept away by peer pressure is because whatever they’re involved in has an element of fun. Whether it’s drinking or drag racing or sneaking out in the  middle of the night to go a party… a common argument peers use is “Come on, it’ll be fun.” Surely we can agree that “because it’s fun” is an argument with no real weight or merit behind it. Yes, I see their point, the claim that it’s ONLY fun and not harmful… at the same time, there’s no harm in abstaining either. So the fun factor is really just a moot point. Yes, it very well may be fun, but it’s not a good enough reason to make a thing something you have to do (bungee jumping very well may be fun for some people but you won’t ever catch me on one!)

Along the same lines of “it’s  fun,” I also hear “it’s just a game.”

Kind of the same as “it’s fun,” but not. But here’s the thing: It’s not presented like a game at all! It’s presented like it’s real!! And then after kids know the truth…then it becomes a game.. a game in which the rules are “everyone lies to the little kids” (in the name of FUN of course.) If it were some other “game” I don’t think we’d like those rules at all. And raise your hand if you’ve ever gone out of your way, or seen someone go out of their way to keep “the game” going and not get caught in the lie? “Mommy, how does Santa come if we don’t have a chimney?” Anybody? Bueller? I admit it, I’m guilty. But it was at the point that my oldest started asking questions that I really started having issues with everything. I wondered, when did it become okay to make up something  (lie) to keep my kid believing in something that’s make believe anyway? Wow. Fun game.

And last but not least, while we’re at it… let’s just ponder the tradition of sending your kids to sit on a stranger’s lap “in the name of fun.” I’m willing to bet that you don’t usually tell your kid to go sit on an old man’s lap (who they don’t know) and say “Hi.” Under any other circumstances outside of Santa and the Easter Bunny, that is. Because for some reason if you put on a Santa suit or bunny costume then it’s okay. Really? Why? Ok, so, I get that the little kids think it’s really Santa and so they may not really see the guy as a stranger. But the parents know it’s a stranger! And sometimes the kid is old enough to know but they still go along with it for whatever reason and then THEY know. I just find the whole thing really weird. I’m moving on and leaving y’all to chew on that one..

Now if you ask my kids, who all know the truth, and who attended two Christmas parties with Santas this year, if they think it’s fun.. they’d say “yes.” But if you probed them further you’d learn that the fun part is getting the present. The sitting on Santa’s lap and telling them what they want for Christmas part–Meh. Notsomuch. They feel shy about sitting on his lap, kind of weird because they know it’s not real, and they just want the present.

But if you asked ME if it’s fun.. No. It’s not fun for me at all. Now, one of those parties the Santa came in delivering gifts to the kids that were bought by the company hosting the party. And since my husband doesn’t actually work for them but is just the computer guy that they call to work on their computers, I was really touched that they invited us and included our kids on the gift list. The Santa called their names and handed the gifts to them and they came back and sat with us to open them. And MY kids, knowing the truth looked at us and asked, “did YOU get these?” We shook our heads “no” (and we whispered they were gifts from the company) and we were all surprised and grateful. I’m sure there were little kids there who bought the whole thing hook, line, and sinker, but I was not personally put under any pressure to further the illusion or make any of us do something we didn’t want to do. The Santa just handed the gift and said ‘Merry Christmas’ and I appreciated that, too. It was tolerable. So I admit that I didn’t mind that one as much as others. Otherwise I really don’t enjoy it. I’m not interested in watching them sit on his lap, I don’t feel the need to capture it in pictures and I’d rather skip the whole thing.

So for my kids… it’s the gift that’s fun. And for me, it’s not fun at all. And that’s the biggest reason that “it’s fun” isn’t much of a reason at all.

Yes, the biggest reason for doing Santa, so I’m told, is that it’s fun. But there are 3 more. And I’m going to address each of those in their own separate posts. In the meantime, I want to share for your reading pleasure, some additional blog posts that I found very enjoyable. God bless.

• What Should Christians Do With Santa?
• Why Not Santa Claus (Part 1) 
• Why Not Santa Claus (Part 2)
• Why Not Santa Claus (Part 3)

 Read part 2, “Santa Claus is based on Saint Nicholas” here.

What do candle votives, a metal tray, a can of blue spray paint, some clothes pins and a permanent marker have in common? Advent!

Well, it does at MY house. ; )

Every year we create our own little set up for an Advent candle wreath and calendar. This year I thought about actually buying an Advent Candle wreath or candelabra. And I almost did… until I thought about a little votive set that my mother in law recently gave to me. It came with four votives on a bronze colored metal tray with some decorative gravel. It occurred to me that a couple of small changes and a $4 can of spray paint later, I could have this year’s Advent candle “wreath” in a snap. (And very inexpensively with something I already had!!)

The best part of this new Advent “calendar” is that it’s reuseable, unlike the calendars of years past. Most of these activities are ‘regulars’ that we keep year after year. Others, such as sewing Christmas stockings, that I have planned this year but won’t necessarily want to do next year, can still be reused because there’s another side! Next year I can flip those activities over and write something else on the other side. =)

I’m really happy with the way both of these turned out and I look forward to using them all month. I love, love, love the blue. Last year our decorations were mostly turquoise/teal and white/silver. I plan to keep that color scheme while adding in a little red. This will do nicely. It just goes to show that you don’t really have to spend a lot of money to celebrate in style and with fun. And I still have almost half of that $4 can of spray left. I wonder what I can paint next….? ;0)

(P.S. If you want to know what’s written on the clothespins, I’ve taken close ups of the Advent Calendar clothespins and included what they say in the caption. Read this post more information about Advent and how we celebrate it. )

Have fun making your own Advent decorations! And if you already have, feel free to share links in the comments!

And so Advent begins!! We will definitely, as in previous years, be celebrating Advent at our house. And I will be, as in previous years, blogging about it as much as possible. Last year we really went for a simplified approach for several reasons. This year I hope to bring back a few traditions from seasons past. I’ve got several things planned, but I thought I’d start this year off with some links to posts from Advents gone before. If you’ve never read any of my Advent posts,  if you’re wondering what this is all about, or what Advent is.. this will be a good place to start! Yes, today is the first day of Advent, but tomorrow is just as good as day as any to begin. Advent is a tool, a celebration, to focus on Christ during this time of year. Use it to the benefit of your family and your Christmas holiday this year.

ADVENTure 2010

For 2010, we kept things really simple. We mostly focused on our Advent Candle Wreath and readings, our Jesse Tree and decorating symbolically.

Advent Candle Wreath/Readings

My “Faux Mantle” – (home for our Advent Candle Wreath.)

Jesse Tree

2010′s Themed Christmas Tree

Symbolic Themed Centerpiece

Advent 2009

The 2009 Advent series is more detailed, thoughtful and explains more about Advent, the holiday, and the preparation of our hearts. It incorporates the use of traditions and activities to intentionally and thoughtfully celebrate the holiday season.

The King is Coming!

Expectation : Why Advent? What is it? Goals, etc.

Execution : Making it happen.

Anticipation : Layering traditions to build anticipation.

Culmination : It’s all been building up to this.

Resolution : An end, and a beginning.

Advent 2008

The 2008 Advent posts take a “how-to” approach, with links and instructions for many traditions and activities that we use to focus the Advent and Christmas season on Jesus Christ and God. Symbolism plays a large role in our activities and traditions to point what we do to the gospel story.

Family Traditions

The Spirit of Baking

Decorating With Intent

The Spirit of Giving

Keeping Christ in Christmas, Christmas Morning

Other Posts:

There are other posts I have written over the years, peppered here and there and not belonging to a specific Advent series.

Where is He? - Do you ever feel like something’s MISSING? Do you sometimes get so caught up in Christmas you feel like you lost Christ along the way?

You’d Better Watch Out, You’d Better Not Cry… - in which I first confessed that Santa and I had a falling out, and that something needed to be done. What to do?

How We Fired Santa - In which we, yes, FIRED Santa from our Christmas traditions once and for all. How and why we let that go.

How to Make an Advent Calendar - One of the first we ever made, one of the easiest to create if you have littles.

Our New Christmas Tradition (The Gifts of the Magi Revisited.) - Taking our “Three Wisemen Gifts” even further… and LOVING IT. This will be the 3rd year we’ve done this. The 2nd year we “donated” our “gold” gift to Women At Risk and this year we have chosen World Vision.

Our Traveling Nativity - A tradition we have had for a long time. Sometimes we have one “static” nativity set up somewhere else while the traveling nativity “travels.” = )

I do hope that you are able to use some of these ideas and links to help you focus your holiday season on the BEST GIFT EVER. While celebrating naturally involves family and friends and gifts and decorations.. I hope that the gift of CHRIST transcends it all. God bless!