How Do I Parent My Tween Girl?

Whoever said that hormones kick in at 13…. I’d like a refund on that advice.

Because you were WRONG.

Hormones start cranking up earlier. Much. Earlier.

And while there’s no denying that they may crank up even more at 13, and 14, and 15.. there’s also no denying that we’re already seeing the evidence of hormones at play on a pretty regular basis. Oh the drama! Oh the mood swings! Oh the eye rolling! And once I got over the slight surprise that we’re already here, already dealing with this, already the parents of a TWEEN.. (how did THAT happen..) my next thought was:

How do I proceed from here? How can I parent my tween girl through the ever increasing hormonal flux that is puberty and do her justice, train her heart, encourage her, prepare her for the world ahead? … I need to read up on this!!

Because I’ll admit my natural instinct is to think, “Hey I’ve got enough hormone problems over here on my own thank-you-very-much.” But then motherhood kicks in (thank goodness) to save me from being completely selfish and I think “I have teach her how to manage her hormones and her mood swings, I need to be there for her, I can’t just let her fend for herself.” See? I *can* get past my own PMS and try to be a good mom.

But I have no idea what I’m doing.

Not a clue.

  • How do I teach my daughter self control over her emotions when I stink so badly at that myself?
  • How do I sympathize and support her in the middle of an emotional mood swing crisis when I’m in the middle of my own?
  • How do I encourage her to be kind and forgiving when the hormone monster wants to be mean and snarky? Or to respect authority when the eye balls go rolling?

These are more than discipline issues here. Time out, grounding, swats… may address the consequences of acting act but they don’t address the heart and the root issue. And I know from personal experience that if my daughter doesn’t get a handle on her temper now there’s a good chance she’ll be dealing with her hot temper twenty years from now. I want more than just to raise my daughter well, I hope to raise her to be even better than me.

But I’m low on know how. And like I said… I need to read up on some really good books! I need some training myself. I need some encouragement and direction and wisdom. And so I’ve been browsing books…but there are so many! Some of them I have heard recommended before and that’s always a nice piece of input. But others look good and I’ve never heard of them. I spent a while this evening browsing some books at Amazon and I’ve picked a few out for consideration, for further investigation.

Raising a Modern-Day Princess

Your Girl: Raising a Godly Daughter in an Ungodly World

Five Conversations You Must Have with Your Daughter

And for her to read:

The Body Book: It’s A God Thing! (The Lily Series)

BeTween: A Preteen Girl’s Guide to Life

A Girl After God’s Own Heart: A Tween Adventure with Jesus

The Care & Keeping of You: The Body Book for Girls (American Girl Library)

And also, I found this one.. Maybe I can talk Big Daddy into reading it??
Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know

So moms of tweens, help!! Have you read these? Have you heard anything about them? Have you read others? I don’t want to waste my money on bad books. But I do need to start reading up and praying up and preparing myself to parent in this new phase of childhood. It’s only just beginning! =)

3
Leave a Comment! Tell Me What You Think.

avatar
  Subscribe  
Notify of
sprittibee
Guest
sprittibee

Can’t help you, honey. I will say that IT ONLY GETS WORSE.

However, the good news is, you won the Doorposts book (For Instructions in Righteousness)… which coincidentally is about Biblical parenting… and child training… so that’s a good start!

Amber
Guest
Amber

Yay! Well, not for the getting worse part but yay for winning the book! I really wanted to get that when I buy some other character training books for the beginning of the school year. I’m so excited! =)

Jessica Drummond
Guest
Jessica Drummond

My program, Powerful Puberty, helps moms (especially those who are struggling with their own perimenopausal hormones) to help their girls navigate the physical and emotional shifts at puberty, and helps moms (and dads!) handle the tough questions with information and support! I would love for you to check it out! Here’s the link… http://jessicadrummond.com/powerful-puberty-introduction/

Enjoy!
Jessica
jessicadrummond.com