A Classic Housewife in a Modern World

Originally published March 7, 2008. My son was not quite 2 1/2. Now he’s almost 4 1/2. And since then, YES, we’ve had to hide the matches. ;0)

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Earlier this week, my son, my cute, sweet, innocent little son, through no devious mischief but merely through curiosity and normal play, twice tried to become a teeny little arsonist – all in the same day.

It began that morning, when he was playing with Princess’ play guitar (which broke a string just the day before, but I didn’t even realize he had it) in the girls’ room and watching Blues Clues. I wasn’t paying much attention until he told me the tv wasn’t working in there. And neither were the lights. Or the clock for that matter. Say what?

After checking the box in my closet I confirmed that the switch for their room had been tripped, but turning it back to “ON” did not make the lights come back on as I expected it should. Say what??

After telling Big Daddy that I thought the fuse must need to be replaced because it wasn’t coming back on, he checked it and said that it sparked when he turned it back on – meaning something was wrong in their room. Like what? The only things plugged in are the lights, the tv, and the clock.

So back to their room I go. Checking the outlet for the tv I find the plug had shifted a little and the top wasn’t flush with the outlet cover – Leaving just enough room for the stray METAL guitar string to lay neatly across both prongs of the plug between it and the wall!! SAY WHAT?!?

1. My first thought was thank goodness it didn’t spark and catch the curtains or nearby sleeping bag on fire!
2. Simultaneously, my second thought was to yank the string off immediately – good thing the breaker was off!! Which led me to my next thought:
3. Thank goodness Little Prince wasn’t TOUCHING the guitar string when it contacted the outlet!

It took a few seconds for my heart to stop fluttering.

And if that wasn’t enough – later in the day Little Prince thought he’d test out our “new” (hand-me-down from MamaNut) microwave. … By cooking a floppy disk! Be still, my rapid pulse.

I was cooking at the stove when I heard the distinct *clink* of the microwave door followed by the recognizable *beep* of one of the preset cooking buttons. As I turned, the innocent microwave began cooking the Wal-Mart picture disk from Princess’ 3rd birthday.

Which of course began to spark.

A lot.

Even though it only took me two steps over there and about two seconds to hit the stop button.

It’s a good thing I was standing right there. I don’t know exactly what would happen if you let a floppy disk continue to cook in the microwave and I don’t intend to find out. But I imagine it wouldn’t be good. Or pretty. I’m not sure if the microwave would survive. And all my brain can conjure is an image of a white little microwave spewing flames.

So how much trouble is he going to get into when he is TRYING?

* Make no mistake I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my little boy dearly and I’m mostly thankful he was not harmed in any way. God kept him safe, I know it without a doubt.

* Just in case you’re worrying, I do, in fact, have a fire extinguisher tucked in an out of the way but very easy to get to location in the kitchen.

*Just in case, I’m keeping all matches taped to the ceiling!

* I jest. … For now.