I’ve been contemplating how far I have come in the last two years. Why the last two years? It was two years ago this summer that I was sitting in a ladies bible study thinking about the impending birth of my 3rd child and wondering just in the world how I was going to handle it all. It was in that same bible study that I found my accountability partner that I am meeting with. Looking back, I can say “Yeah, I still have a long way to go, but look how far God has brought me!”
Sometimes I feel as if I’m swimming in circles. I feel like I am struggling through the same issues over and over again and I wonder if I am getting anywhere. It might feel as though I could make a master prayer list and just make a hundred photocopies for the next hundred weeks to come, but as I sat and contemplated that thought this week, I realized that the subject areas might be the same but the prayer requests have evolved. I have evolved. I am further down (or up?) the same stream, but I am not in the same spot.
I don’t say this to pat myself on the back. I haven’t gotten this far on my own. I give all the credit to God. “Look how far GOD has brought me! God is so GOOD!”
Two years ago I worried about the kind of mother I would be for my son, after having had two girls. Okay, so I know that there are tons of parenting trials to come as they get older, but right now I can look at my little “Momma’s Boy” and say, “See? God knew it would be okay.” Having a boy has its interesting ‘boy’ moments (the mud, the poison ivy, the chocolate syrup) but so far it has been So. Much. Fun. Seriously, how can you not laugh and smile when your son is standing knee deep in a muddy puddle with muddy water dripping from his hair and trickling down his cheek as he throws rocks into the water at his feet to see it splash?
Two years ago I wondered how I was ever going to keep up with my housework with three children when I could barely stay on top of it with two?? Ok, so I still struggle with that. But the fact is… my house has not caved in on itself from the weight of too much housework undone. God has enabled me to get the housework done just as well as before (and even better in some ways!)
Two years ago I felt ‘oppressed’ by my housework. Really, I actually said that to my accountability partner (I’m gonna have to give her some kind of nickname for less typing!) the first time we talked and agreed to meet with each other. Yeah, she laughed. But then she prayed for me. The point is that I was at a point where I felt like the situation was hopeless and I would never be able to keep a clean house. I felt like the dirty dishes on the counter were practically mocking me every time I walked in there and I avoided the kitchen at all costs. Even though I might still suffer remnants of those feelings when I have low days, I realized the other day that I am no longer a slave to my housework. God has set me free. He has even been growing me, (particularly over the last 6 months) and teaching me how to achieve the clean house that I’ve always wanted. The happy home environment I believe he wants me to have. I really believe that it will happen some day. Some day very soon.
I could go on and on. Oh, believe me. I could go ON and ON. God is so good. And he is faithful. And I am so thankful for that. Sometimes the answered prayers and the blessings aren’t obvious, but they are there. Take a look around. REALLY look. Where were you a year ago? Two? What were you struggling with? Crying about? Praying about? How far has God brought you?
Thankful Thursday is here.